[x] i really
[x] didnt feel a thing.
[x] until i repelled.
[x] i broke up
[x] the magnets.
[x] deeply hurt..
[x] broken hearted.
[x] i really need
[x] a shoulder to lean on.
02 七月 2006
7/02/2006 11:53:00 下午
i.need.care.n.love
woah. just deleted all my previous, unwanted archives. lolx. wan change my blog add too lers. but i feel that i shld at least just delete those im not thinkin of bah. keep those present problems. den change my blog. sigh... really confused.
u made that guy of my heart bcame u. den u left me. sigh.. but im glad u say u stil like me. im glad u are willing to 4gt her bcox of me. but is this wat u really want? sigh... )=
29 六月 2006
6/29/2006 06:34:00 下午
i.need.care.n.love
我想明天起，我會把過去的事都埋起來。。 甚至這個網上的筆記。。 我會把它收起來。。。
新的一天。 舊的我。。 我依然想者你。。 你呢？
i dono wat to do or say anymore ler... ]= realy lost my appetite. im so hungry . yet i couldnt eat anything. everyday one meal. everyday gastric pain. =( when wil it end...? the day im with someone else? ]= i really dono. haiix.
i really dono wat to do ler.
28 六月 2006
6/28/2006 08:23:00 下午
i.need.care.n.love
i love hongyang. i admire jakiel. n i like ....... -_- hahax. nahh. admire is not like or love. hahax. get it ryte. admire is just admiration. lol. nth to do with love or like. hahax.. haiix. but i canot be wiith the one i love... ]= i guess i just bury him with our memories.. deep deep in my heart bah.,... sigh. =\ i don wan to like anyone now lehx. T_T but aiyo!! u ar.. why keep sayin those things..... finaly when u say u won like me i feel so relieved.. but den lehx. T_T nvm.. just dn anyhow think can ler. =] hahx...
hmmm.. somehow i feel that. he's moving me. even though i think he dont like me. i mean he really dn like me. but i still think.. im openin my heart to him... day by day. haiix. but i still love him.. just that. his msges really are so sweet.. i dono larhs. don wanna think abt bgr now. =\
i.need.care.n.love
我想。。 就從昨天開始。 世界上多了兩個人天天抱者思念與痛苦入眠。。。 i wonder if u will or not. but its vry tough for me. loving someone is indeed hard. but forcing yourself to not love someone u love is even harder. im doin this impossible, so are you...
dont wish to say anymore. it really breaks my heart.. i guess. we were so close, til we're like two magnets. stuck tgether, but i felt nth. until i repelled. i can really feel that strong 'magnetic' force.. the feeling was just so strong. the hurt was just so deep... 人家說， 愛得越深，傷的越多。。 is this true? i guess so. or perhaps it was the long time we spent with each other. until we were so used to each other. that we started to take the love between us for granted.
k i must stop here. i shall not cry. cryin makes me look ugly.
tday. in sch.. at first really wan die. din feel like studyin.. just noe i have to keep writin notes to numb myself. to stop myself from thinkin.. really had no appetite to eat. ]= when i see the porridge. i rmb how u taught me to eat when the porridge was hot.. i really cried... at that time, i needed a shoulder badly. but no one was there... )= sigh.. in the end, still wasted the porridge n the can drink.
l8r on i realized. i canot be so selfish. to torture myself n let my frenx worry.. )= sorry laopos n hm. n clayton... sorry i just poured out everything without thinkin what u will think. sigh... 後來我振作起來了。。開始笑了。。 but that, was just a facade. i just didnt wan u guys to worry.. im sorry... but lunch break... 我還是忍不住哭了。。。 i needed the shoulder more now. but no one was there... =^( i really needed someone to care for me.. wat i needed was more den just the tissues. i need a shoulder to lean on...
i guess i have to stop all these nonsense thinkin. there's no turnin back, like he said. i guess. my favourite moments on earth. would be year 2005-year2006 june 27. bcox i still had u.
i guess day by day. 喜歡你的心慢慢死去了.. sigh. but im glad i knew u. =] i nvr regret fallin for u. hahx. but that shld be one of the most impossible thing i did bahh. sigh.... i really miss you. i miss you....
sun; last day of hols went Gabriel's hse for bbq with 2c peeps. lols. got beer. hahaha. so long since i last touched beer lers. 2nd time drinkin beer. hmm. i din noe tiger beer so nice wors! wakaka. so nice that i took gulps of it at a go. can still rmb how it feels to feel 'high' or excited. hmm. i rmberd tt we started fire. den when fire startin, we opened a can n started sippin (the girls).. i dare not try cox of that carlsberg experience. den i try one sip. den another gulp. den i almost drank the whole can i guess. waahh. taste like. omg.. hmmm. den i dono wat happen. only can rmb few incidences..
they say i was drunk. =\ nahh, i dn think so leix. bcox i can rmb wat happen leix.. hmmm. i rmb huggin clayton bag. sry lehx. n he say i kept hittin him.. did i? realy sry wor.. din mean to... )= really sorry..
hmmm. oh ya. i lost my ring there...]= clayton got it off i guess. we were like.. err strugglin for i dono wat reason... =\ den my ring slipped off bah. not vry sure.. just noe i couldnt feel my ring on my finger. so sad couldnt find it...]= that was the only thick ring i had lehx.. n i lost 3 rings in total ler. sigh.... must buy new one.
oops* suddenly rmb. =\ i went insane that day. i fed ppl watermelons. somehow in my mind i can see faint shadow of someone feedin me too leix. not too sure who... only knew. i fed wx. yl. =D [laopos] kekex.. =\ omg gerald! T_T ... not sure liaox. oh yah. can rmb clayton... was it him who fed me too? canot rmb... ]= wx fed me too. so sweet. =] hahx. just noe i din eat much there. n i just completely enjoyed myself.
thkx guys. hahax...
but theres this voice inside me.. keep shouting someone's name. T_T im going nuts.
i.need.care.n.love
哇~ 好久沒寫了哦。。 假期剛完。。 電腦卻偏偏在假期時當掉。 有夠衰。。。hmmm. k i shal blog in eng. hahx. like so long nvr write in eng ler. hmmm. 就說假期裏的事吧。。 don feel like talkin abt sch. >_<
first week of hols, can say , 是我一生中最開心的日子吧？ i met jakiel.. =D melvin, randy, ashley, thameen. of cox many others. worked part time at the world book fair at suntec.. total earned 600 bah. hahx. hmmm. but its not the money that count, its the experience n of cox ahem... =] i can say its just coincidence that me jakiel met on the day of interview. tt day pon sch. lol... we both met outside the exhibition hall. =] den went interview tgether. hahx. can say we were frenx frm then bah? hmm mayb not.. but stil, to me, yes... really happy. sat start work.. 10.30am all the way to 9.30 lidat. woah reach hme so late. plus dinner n bathing, sleepin time already mornin lers. lol. but for 9 days.. still can tong la. i guess wat kept me going on is jakiel bah. hahax. i dono why but i was lookin forward to everynew day, no matter how tired i m.. bcox of him. =p
whenever i got any problem with the work, he would always help. explain. teach. even give me his sales... i noe its only my one sided thinkin, but i can feel his love for me. for him is just takin care of a small girl bah. but to me.. its a complete different thing. can say its bcox of him, i don feel tired.. bcox of him, i can even only take one meal a day. bcox of him.. i wanna grow up faster.. bcox of him, i can really give all my sales up..
haiix. one sided love. i guess its enuf. =] 9 days of memories. its enuf for me ler. thkfully i din foolishly confessed to him. or else sure no 9 days of memories bahx. i even lied that i din like him. just bcox i wanted him to smile at me.. =X sigh.. i can still rmb wat he said. abt my ambition to b an air stewardess.. he says 空姐很濺.. so sad. n he says i dono love. sigh... still rmb the last day. his gf came... was wonderin why on earth would she come.. it really pierced my heart i gues.. when i saw him with her. i can really feel this squeeze in my heart.. 真的很痛.... if only i din see how they were like tgether. i could have been happy just based on the 9 days. 9 days of care from him... but that last day really spoilt this beautiful memory.
sigh. dn wan say ler. really sad... ]=
but thk God i still have melvin n randy at our booth here. mayb cox of melvin i dare face jakiel bah? bcox he will be there to joke with me.. make me laugh.. den i will not fall deeper for jakiel. thkx miaomiao. =] hahx.. of cox lao ban also. =] randy always so good to us. God bless!!
hahx. i guess i will not 4gt u guys bah.=] hmmm. everyday also so fun. although work is abit tough.. i stil not scared! cox of u guys.. n jakiel...
tt day after work went eat dinner with melvin too. =p ate oreo cheesecake. miaomiao accompany me.. so sweet of him to wait for me too.. sigh. even though randy n melvin also will give me their sales. but why izit tt jakiel always have those type of eyes? sigh... make me wonder here wonder there... =\
haiix.
ur eyes were so sweet. i could even hear them talk.. ur words were so gentle. my heart could have melt. ur arms were so warm. it warmed not only my cold hands.. my heart too... only you. would lend me ur hand to hold on when im cold. only you will not resist. n only u will look at me.. but its just one wishful thinkin of me. its just one sin i had just commited. i knew u looked at me not bcox of that. i knew it all along. but my feelings for u just decieved me... until now.. i can still rmb how our eyes met.. it seemed that they were talkin.. but only my eyes were talkin.. not urs. ur eyes, was blind to see tt.. all u ever see.. was her.
